posted by Cats Be Still on Jan 17

Just as we here at Mews Weekly thought it was safe to read magazines out in public again, we come across an article that is so off the mark concerning our behavior patterns it goes beyond any sub-human belief. Below, we show you just what we mean. After reading this, we are sure you can agree with us that you humans… just don’t get it! (although we know how stubborn you are and may not admit it freely or out loud. Don’t forget, we are the ones who hear you speak in higher pitch tones than you would care to admit!)

[Article excerpt]

There are a lot of experts out there who say that cats are strictly independent animals. These very same experts state that cats have chosen to associate with humans due to their strategy of survival. Although many argue with this statement, there are many who agree as well – although those that agree are normally those in the percentile who don’t agree with cats.

[Our Recuddle]

Number one: There are No Real Experts when it comes down to analyzing cats!

and B: Let us all be realistic about this, shall we? We Choose to associate with you because it beats the heck out of sleeping in the freezing cold and eating roaches for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Hello? Where’s my kitty treat? (rub rub) Get it?

Lets us move on… and oh yes… there is more!

[Article excerpt]

Anyone who has owned a cat will tell you that cats are great at bonding with people, although they are very particular. Normally, a cat will choose someone in the home that he bonds with. You’ll know when a cat wants to bond with you, as he will hop on your lap seeking attention or snuggle up to you at night when you are sleeping. Purring is a strong sign of affections, especially with cats that are looking to bond. Although many experts have tried to figure it out, no one really knows why cats choose a particular person whom they will bond with. It could be the individual’s manners, voice, or simply how that person treats the cat. Perhaps it may be the individual is really gentle, or maybe a little more forceful – bringing the best out in the cat.

[Our Recuddle]

To start with, the line “Anyone who has owned a cat” is, in itself, enough to explain how little these human realize… No one owns us! We Own You!

and to begin with, We do not choose who we bond with… One part is true, we do ‘so called bond’ out of survival. we do this ‘so called bonding’ with those who step on our tail at night going to their big white litter bowl, so that when they move… We can hightail it out of there so it won’t happen again! Please tell me you can see where we are going with this?

and firstly, humans need a better understanding of the purring syndrome. I suppose the best way to express this so that some of you may actually get it, it this: Suppose I was laying there, all curled up in my cozy little place, minding my own business and all of a sudden, I am awoken by my 2-legged pet (aka human) with a snore that shook the Earth from Canada to South America. I’m sorry… where was I going with this… Oh yes, purring syndrome. Anyone want to play bat at the moving object in the air for 10 minutes? OK, my point is, us purring is like you snoring! There must be a lot of affectionate humans out there because we hear an exorbitant amount of snoring!

And now it’s time for a little cat breakdown {singing Never Gonna Get It by En Vogue}… Staff room of Mews Weekly all chases tails… and now… we nap…

To continue…

[Article excerpt]

There are a lot of ways that researchers have tried to take this subject, one of which being psychic. Some say that cats bond with someone due to a “psychic aura” that is compatible with both the person and the cat. If a cat feels that someone is giving them a bad vibe, they will simply ignore that person. Although this can be true to a sense for some, a majority of those who own cats will tell you that this couldn’t be any further from the truth.

[Our Recuddle]

Cat Psychics…LOL

Ok, pardon me, I can’t talk right now, someone is ‘whispering’ into my ear and it’s kinda turning me on.

Simple fact, you do not have kitty treats, our feeding cycle is not in effect, you do not smell of cat food or you haven’t showered today… we ignore you.

[Article excerpt]

Even though there are a lot of theories and speculation out there, no one really knows why cats bond with humans. There’s little to no proof available as well, other than cats and their natural instinct for physical survival. Those who own cats know that cats crave attention, simply to make them feel needed. They love to be pampered by their owners, and will shower you with attention and affection if you just give them the chance.

[Our Recuddle]

We Do Not crave attention to feel needed! Some of us crave attention by pooping in the laundry basket while others crave attention by meowing in the middle of the night while you ‘try’ to sleep. This writer assumes we do this to feel needed? OK try this out… poop on your laundry and keep your spouse up all night by meowing, and then see just how needed you feel? Case closed Your Honor.

Raise your paw if you do not love to be pampered… ’nuff said.

[Article excerpt]

Those who are new to owning cats may find bonding to be very different. Cats are different from other animals, including dogs, in the sense that they bond different. Different breeds of cats will bond different with their owners, although most prefer affection and attention. The more time you spend around your cat, the more he will bond with you. Over the years, you’ll find that the bond you create with your pet has grown very strong – and simply cannot be broken.

[Our Recuddle]

We wish to reiterate at this point: No One owns US! We own YOU!

What? We are different from dogs? Really? Passes this information around the press room to observe all of the shocked expressions.

OK so, the last part… about the bonding and all and spending more time with your cat… really got to us. :::wipes tears from whiskers::: You got me you cruel writer you… you win!

[Our Final Thoughts]
We here are Mews Weekly would like to apologize for the above recuddles (aka rebuttals). We see that the author had fully intended to be thoughtful and caring with their words and in no way intended to harm or discredit us in any way. In fact, if they were here, we would all bump up against his leg and purr for him.

Again, we would like to say we want to bond with those whom we own. So we leave you with this: Have you hugged your kitty today? purrrrrfect

Cat Fancy Cat Fancy Magazine is devoted to helping cat lovers care for their best friends. Special features includes articles on health, training and grooming.